1. Find a sledgehammer. If I can't find this, find a large hammer. If I can't find that, get rolling pin from the kitchen drawer.
2. Place laptop on the concrete patio outside. Try to center it in the middle so that there is plenty of room on each side.
3. Bring rolling pin (or other object from #1) outside and close the patio door. (The kids are sleeping and I don't want to wake them up.)
4. Take a deep breath and try to think of a few choice words that I can't say in front of the kids. (FYI - stupid, hate, moron, etc. I was going to avoid the other words - you know, the bad ones.)
5. Begin using rolling pin to hit the laptop repeatedly.
6. When I get sick of hitting the top, roll laptop over and hit it repeatedly again.
7. When my arms get tired, start stomping on it.
8. All the while be shouting out those words I am not supposed to say in front of the kids.
I know this isn't going to happen, but sometimes it is just so nice to dream.