A Dear John Letter to Soda

Dear Coke (and Dr. Pepper, Sprite, all the off brands and occasionally Pepsi if there is no Coke),

It’s not you; it’s me. We have been seeing each other for a while now, but this has to come to an end. I can’t keep going like this. Those empty calories, the sodium. I just can’t take it anymore.

There are lots of other people out there who love you. They love when you are around. You get invited to all the big parties. Some of them say they can’t even live without seeing you once or twice a day. But for me, this relationship has taken a turn for the worst.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not just my relationship with you. McDonalds has played a part too and Brownies, don’t even get me started on that one. If I really want to make a change, I can’t hang out with the same crowd anymore. How can I make the right choice with you sitting there looking at me everyday in the fridge? Let’s be honest, you look great and you are just calling to me.

So, now here comes the hard part. You can’t even come over anymore. We can’t even be friends. It has to be a clean break. I know, chips and salsa aren’t leaving and neither is the ice cream, but I have to take this one step at a time. I have to look around, evaluate who I have been hanging out with and see if they are really benefiting me. I’ve started to ask myself, “What kind of person am I when I hang out with Coke?” and you already know the answer.

I have a family to think about. And don’t think they haven’t noticed what’s going on. I heard Husband gave up on you about a week ago. And the kids, they’ve been asking for you! Hasn’t this gone far enough? It will take me weeks or months to reverse what’s been done. Don’t you want what’s best for me?

I see now that you don’t. We are headed in two different directions. We want different things out of life. All you want to do is hang out and look cool. Show up for the parties, quenching people’s thirst.

I can’t end this without being completely honest. There is someone else. It’s water. I know what you’re thinking right now. But you aren’t the same. Water is so versatile. He can be Crystal Light one minute and then tea the next. I even used him the other day to make orange juice. I know, I shouldn’t rub it in, but I can’t help it. I need water.

So, that’s where it stands. Remember, we will always have the memories.


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